Prof. Beef

Burger King is the ugly stepchild of McDonald's.  Even though Dr. Meat and I found the overall quality of food at Burger King slightly better than at McDonald’s, most people, when given the choice between these two fast-food giants, will choose McDonald's.   Don't argue with me; sales figures don't lie.  YOU, the general, lemming public, visit these establishments, not Dr. Meat or Prof. Beef. 

There's something about Burger King that I don't trust, and I can't put my finger on why.  Maybe it's because I unfairly view Burger King as a follower and a copy of its big brother.  I get the same feeling about my teenage daughter's boyfriend.  Even though he has done nothing wrong, I want to smack him.    

The Whopper with cheese was a flame-broiled, thin, quarter-pound frozen patty.  Although it was dry, it had a beef-like flavor that was masked by a very strong liquid smoke seasoning.  It was one of the few palatable fast-food burgers that could be eaten without condiments or a bun.

The bun was a flat, sesame-seed Wonder-type bun found at most quickie burger restaurants.  This generic bread, however, was toasted and steamed.  Underneath that top cover were chopped iceberg lettuce, pieces of white onion, two small slices of tomato, three pickle slices, and half a jar of mayo and catsup.  

The frozen fries were lightly golden brown and very crisp, as if they had been sprayed with a chemical or fat before deep-frying.  It had an unnatural crispness and tasted like frozen hash browns or Tater-Tots - again, greasy but with no potato flavor.  

    Point Total 
47

Dr. Meat

If were to title this review it would have to be "Burger Jester" (the joke is on the patrons), or "where there's smoke there's a Whopper patty".  This Whopper with Cheese experience brought me back to my childhood old time fourth of July memories. The patty, although dry and crumbly, actually resembled beef.  The problem, aside from the texture, was the smokey flavor.  It filled my sinus cavity for a week!  The bun was weak, the lettuce was chlorine soaked chop, and the whole was dripping in catsup.  The fries were weird. Once again I closed my eyes  in a supreme effort to focus and what I thought I was eating was Tator- Tots or those hash brown things at McDonalds. Then my childhood once again appeared as a vision, I saw myself as a mere tot of 13 years or so eating fries I found wedged in the back seat of our Mercury Parklane. As usual the memory is better than the reality.